Death Fatherlessness(8 sections)
military funeral
Line-of-duty deaths
There are many ways to be fatherless-by-death.
Military and first-responder... in-the-line-of-duty deaths
I suppose the most noble kinds of fatherlessness.
And these are the most reassuring type of fatherlessness,
These children were most likely - the most loved of all fatherless children.
DEATH FATHERLESSNESS
Disease or accidental death
Fathers of young children die this way...a lot.
Disease, work accidents, vehicle crashes, substance abuse.
Miscalculation and poor judgement kills a lot of people.
Too many people ignore the laws of biochemistry -as with substance abuse,
and the laws of physics - as in stopping distances.
And...our DNA can always surprise us.
Miscalculation and poor judgement kills a lot of people.
Too many people ignore the laws of biochemistry -as with substance abuse,
and the laws of physics - as in stopping distances.
And...our DNA can always surprise us.
But again, these kids are more likely to have been loved by their biodad.
Mother-perp fatherlessness
Especially gut-wrenching is when one parent murders the other parent.
Being a crime show buff - I have seen so many crime episodes
where one parent is the victim and the other parent is the perpetraitor. (my spelling).
(One statistic said that for every 100 men that kill their wives,
75 women kill their husbands)*
It is horrible when a mother murders the father - to get full custody.
(which means that the dad loved the kids)
A few men in my 1,000,000 circle would qualify for this, even if they don't know it.
And often, the mother claims self-defense, or sexual abuse of their child(ren)
to win child custody. Or she fabricates the father's 'suicide'.
* Who Kills Whom in Spouse Killings? On the Exceptional Sex Ratio of Spousal Homicides in the United States | Office of Justice Programs (ojp.gov)
'knife angel' wolverhamption uk..
made from forfeited knives - in a nation
where gun ownership is difficult,
so knife crimes are many
Crime-victim fatherlessness
Some people are fatherless,
because dad has been killed by a non-relative or complete stranger.
Stranger-violence damages many healthy families.
DEATH FATHERLESSNESS
Crime-perp death
This is when a father is killed while committing a crime,
whether killed by the police or by the would-be victim, in self defense,
or if the perp commits suicide to avoid capture.
It's sad for the family.
DEATH FATHERLESSNESS
Suicide
It's easy for a child to feel unloved -
if it seems their own father didn't consider them worth sticking around for.
It's okay for that child to feel angry and unwanted.
If a man will commit suicide,
he has no right to think his children will feel sorry for him
or that they will hero-worship him.
And they certainly shouldn't use him as an example how to deal with life's problems.
The Suicide Hotline Number is 988. That's it, 988.
***********************
And here is something I have long-believed about Veteran suicide:
(we lose about 22 Vets to suicide every day)
I suspect that many of these suicide - Vets, grew up without their biodads,
then found something that felt like family to them, in the military.
Then when they were separated from the military, often without their consent,
it's like their family was taken away from them...again.
Prove me wrong.
Show us how many Vet suicides grew up without their dads,
and how many of these men spent time in foster care.
Do it...I dare you!
988.
my dad, Fay Rose. ww2. home on leave
It's inevitable
At some point, we all become fatherless, unless our dad outlives us.
I grew up with my dad at home. I was 47 when he died.
I remember his funeral.
Even though I had a wife and three kids to look after,
I literally wished I could crawl into the coffin,
put my head on my Dad’s chest,
pull the lid shut - and be buried with him.
If you grew up fatherless, I feel bad for you.
But God does not discount your value because of how you were conceived.
And neither do I.
For all the scolding Jesus did in the New Testament,
He never scolded anyone for being conceived outside of marriage,
because our conception is out of our control.
But Jesus does urge us to follow Him,
so we can enjoy His love for us.
I grew up with my dad at home. I was 47 when he died.
I remember his funeral.
Even though I had a wife and three kids to look after,
I literally wished I could crawl into the coffin,
put my head on my Dad’s chest,
pull the lid shut - and be buried with him.
If you grew up fatherless, I feel bad for you.
But God does not discount your value because of how you were conceived.
And neither do I.
For all the scolding Jesus did in the New Testament,
He never scolded anyone for being conceived outside of marriage,
because our conception is out of our control.
But Jesus does urge us to follow Him,
so we can enjoy His love for us.
DEATH FATHERLESSNESS
Another type...
This final type of death-fatherlessness seems really unusual but....
I know of this situation 3rd-hand:
I knew a couple, we attended the same church for years.
They were a bit older than I. The wife died of cancer.
The husband lived as a widower for several years.
But then he met someone he was partial to - and they married.
His adult daughters were immediately unhappy with him,
and nothing has changed in the years since.
I consider this a mental health issue on their part -
and a sin.
This man kept his vows to his wife during their marriage.
But his daughters won't accept the new marriage.
As a layman...I suspect... that as long as the father stayed single
they were able to pretend that mom is still, kind-of around,
so she was kind-of still alive.
But their dad's remarriage is a testimony that their mother really is very dead.
Especially during the holidays.
Perhaps they needed their dad to live alone - for their mother, forever and ever
to pretend that the family as they knew it - is still intact,
which it isn't.
Every time someone dies, that old family dissolves
and a new family is formed.
I've been through this enough times to know how this works.
But some people refuse to get it.
Some families don't re-form themselves.
These daughters are overstepping their bounds,
and robbing their father of the joy he could have.
They have also made themselves fatherless.
