Life Skills(8 sections)
Fatherless-fathers are often on both sides of this life-skills-problem at the same time,
trying to teach life skills they were never taught.
But with proper mentoring, you can do this!
And as you can see, topics overlap from section to section.
Let's see what awaits us.
LIFE SKILLS
Setting priorities
While we all have similar needs,
we need to learn how to prioritize our needs
so we can meet more of our most-important needs with modest resources.
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The graph at left was designed by a man in 1943. (Maslow)
we need to learn how to prioritize our needs
so we can meet more of our most-important needs with modest resources.
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The graph at left was designed by a man in 1943. (Maslow)
He analyzed how we rate our needs, as he saw them.
Our needs range from having oxygen to breathe, to a gentle rain to lull us to sleep at night.
Some needs are life-and-death, while others are just pretty wishes.
But drug addicts and heroes both tend to violate the pattern in the chart
often putting themselves in danger.
The drug addict does it for self-ish reasons
The hero does it for self-less reasons.
(a good parent is a low-level hero on a daily basis)
Our needs range from having oxygen to breathe, to a gentle rain to lull us to sleep at night.
Some needs are life-and-death, while others are just pretty wishes.
But drug addicts and heroes both tend to violate the pattern in the chart
often putting themselves in danger.
The drug addict does it for self-ish reasons
The hero does it for self-less reasons.
(a good parent is a low-level hero on a daily basis)
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When a man's priorities are out of balance,
he prioritizes minor things and endangers more important things.
I know a man, in his early 50s, living in a rented room, who works spot labor.
He was hungry one Saturday after a day's labor, so he had to choose how to feed himself.
He could have gone to the grocery store, bought lunch meat and a loaf of bread
and eaten for 2 or 3 days.
Instead, he went to a sports bar, ordered a nice burger dinner and likely spent $20 -$30.
When a man's priorities are out of balance,
he prioritizes minor things and endangers more important things.
I know a man, in his early 50s, living in a rented room, who works spot labor.
He was hungry one Saturday after a day's labor, so he had to choose how to feed himself.
He could have gone to the grocery store, bought lunch meat and a loaf of bread
and eaten for 2 or 3 days.
Instead, he went to a sports bar, ordered a nice burger dinner and likely spent $20 -$30.
He wanted to feel like he was a regular person, by eating in a nice diner-setting.
Completely understandable.
But in meeting this emotional need, was he still able to pay his room rent?
For too many people, an immediate, emotional need
will take priority over a more distant, important need, like rent.
The people who practice this lifestyle constantly, constantly lack the more important things in life.
LIFE SKILLS
Organization
Quick, where are your cell phone, keys and wallet?
If you have to think about it, ... why?
No matter where you are, you should always know where these things are,
and not have to wonder.
He who wonders, is doomed to wander.
I know people who aren't sure where they left these things.
They waste a lot of time and energy looking for them.
And they often have to replace them. $$$$$
Life is easier for organized people.
Organized people have fewer surprise expenses.
And... the less stuff we own,
the easier it is to stay organized.
LIFE SKILLS
Self-sustainability
Self-sustainability is a life-skill.
Self-sustainability is earning our own way in life.
Self-sustainability is the ability to properly prioritize our needs.
Self-sustainability is the willingness to eat baloney sandwiches for lunch for a month
Self-sustainability is the ability to properly prioritize our needs.
Self-sustainability is the willingness to eat baloney sandwiches for lunch for a month
when our kids need new shoes.
Yes, part of self-sustainability is the capacity to sustain those we are responsible for.
This may be a pain-point for fatherless males, but it is still true.
Yes, part of self-sustainability is the capacity to sustain those we are responsible for.
This may be a pain-point for fatherless males, but it is still true.
'Extended-sustainability' is providing long-term, for those we have created.
Many fatherless males grew up with a mother that seemed to provide their housing,
but when the youngest child turns 18, the government quit paying the rent
and everyone became homeless.
(I just saw this happen amongst my acquaintances)
Then the boy may feel guilty that the mother is homeless because he turned 18.
Hmmm. This is not-at-all the boy's fault.
Let this truth soak in.
old uk tools
Careers
A man must choose a career for himself or he will be pushed into whatever is available.
And for his children's sake, he must give them career guidance as they grow into adulthood.
(Being an at-home wife/mom is a noble profession)
Career choices create a lot of structure that everyone must work around,
Career choices create a lot of structure that everyone must work around,
because our careers dictate both our work time and our free time.
But our paychecks help us nurture our relationships and do good in the world.
Life is an interconnected web.
Did you know:
Even before God created Eve, God put Adam to work? It's true.
And before the Fall, Adam's labor was intended to benefit God's holdings.
Adam already had the food he needed, but Adam also needed to be kept busy.
Human males have never been released from God's ordinance for regular labor.
But our paychecks help us nurture our relationships and do good in the world.
Life is an interconnected web.
Did you know:
Even before God created Eve, God put Adam to work? It's true.
And before the Fall, Adam's labor was intended to benefit God's holdings.
Adam already had the food he needed, but Adam also needed to be kept busy.
Human males have never been released from God's ordinance for regular labor.
Just as God has the power to decide what is love and what is sin,
God also has the right to define a proper work ethic.
It's a terrible thing for a male to think everything should be handed to him.
It's a terrible thing for a male to think everything should be handed to him.
"Choice of career? Do I have a choice?"
Yes, you have some choices, depending on your situation.
Statistically, neither you nor I will ever be a US President.
But either of us could probably get a job in food service.
And there are many levels of jobs in-between these two jobs.
Your list of options will depend on:
Yes, you have some choices, depending on your situation.
Statistically, neither you nor I will ever be a US President.
But either of us could probably get a job in food service.
And there are many levels of jobs in-between these two jobs.
Your list of options will depend on:
* what is locally available (internet shopping reduces local job opportunities)
* what you are eligible for,
* what you are eligible for,
(considering your education, your training, any arrest record and tattoos)
* and your personality. Some night owls won't work a day job without great angst.
Consider 'the dust bowl', an environmental catastrophe that afflicted the Western Plains States
during the 1930s. ('Grapes of Wrath', Steinbeck, 1939, is based on the effects of the dust bowl.)
A lot of competent farmers were displaced from their own homesteads
* and your personality. Some night owls won't work a day job without great angst.
Consider 'the dust bowl', an environmental catastrophe that afflicted the Western Plains States
during the 1930s. ('Grapes of Wrath', Steinbeck, 1939, is based on the effects of the dust bowl.)
A lot of competent farmers were displaced from their own homesteads
and found themselves living in tents attached to their cars,
picking fruit as seasonal migrant workers, to feed their families.
Sometimes, even hard-working, intelligent, capable white people
have trouble finding an opportunity that matches their ambition, education and skill-sets.
Sometimes, even hard-working, intelligent, capable white people
have trouble finding an opportunity that matches their ambition, education and skill-sets.
(This is not a racist comment; it is a truth that even people with the most advantage
can have the rug pulled out from under them by events beyond their control.)
But now, we seem to be in an era of worker shortages, so this is a good time to push ahead.
If you don't have a high school diploma, get your GED.
If you have a high school diploma, consider training for the career you aspire to.
But now, we seem to be in an era of worker shortages, so this is a good time to push ahead.
If you don't have a high school diploma, get your GED.
If you have a high school diploma, consider training for the career you aspire to.
* Some careers give OJT. (on-the-job-training)
* I spent several years going to night-college.
* Also, the US military gives training, plus educational benefits.
* Often, overtime for another department at work will bring training opportunities.
* Often, overtime for another department at work will bring training opportunities.
Use the pay and benefits of your training to nurture your proper relationships.
'The Sawmill' Larry Semon. 1922
Domestic skills
Domestic skills are what we do for ourselves at home.
The more we can do with our homes or autos, the less help we need to hire.
I've made a living for decades doing home repairs for people
who can't or won't do their own home repairs.
(We advise that you follow none of this man's practices,
be it smoking or sitting on a sawmill log.)
Domestic skills are valuable, whether cleaning or maintaining
our home, car, and other possessions.
Each task has its own skill-set.
Some of us learned cleaning when we were young.
Other people didn't.
YouTube is a great learning tool for many home-centered duties.
Every necessary job-skill has its own dignity.
I cringe when I see a young woman in a selfie, showing off her new 'fit'
in her bedroom that is in utter chaos.
She either lacks domestic skills or lacks domestic ambition,
which makes her less attractive.
Financial decisions
We shape our tomorrows by how we use our time and money - today.
Our attitudes either help us or hurt us.
Our attitudes are either shaped by our needs - or by our wishes.
And our wishes are our biggest enemy when it comes to financial stability.
Our attitudes are either shaped by our needs - or by our wishes.
And our wishes are our biggest enemy when it comes to financial stability.
Proverbs 21:17:
Whoever loves pleasure will become poor;
whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich.
whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich.
And the more wishes trying to claim one paycheck,
the harder it is to make that paycheck stretch.
(1 quart of pennies = about $10...ask me how I know.)
Our wishes that require money, burden us. (remember Maslow's Hierarchy)
Our spouse's wishes can also burden the family paycheck.
Children's wishes burden the paycheck.
This is made worse when friends or relatives and TV or internet commercials
Our wishes that require money, burden us. (remember Maslow's Hierarchy)
Our spouse's wishes can also burden the family paycheck.
Children's wishes burden the paycheck.
This is made worse when friends or relatives and TV or internet commercials
try to plant wishes into our heads.
We are happiest when we practice contentedness.
Learn to dial-down the voices telling us what to wish for.
Instead, make choices in line with our careers, our income and responsibilities.
We are happiest when we practice contentedness.
Learn to dial-down the voices telling us what to wish for.
Instead, make choices in line with our careers, our income and responsibilities.
Let's imagine that one family-unit has three daughters,
while the neighbor's family-unit has one daughter,
and the two family units are related, with equal incomes.
The one-daughter-family will get more stuff
than the family with three daughters can afford.
than the family with three daughters can afford.
Which can make the three daughters jealous,
and make them wish for more than is possible.
LIFE SKILLS
Investing
The clip at left is from the 1984 version of 'A Christmas Carol' with George C. Scott.
There have been many movie versions of this 1843 novel,
There have been many movie versions of this 1843 novel,
literally since moving pictures were invented.
George C. Scott's 1984 version and Henry Winkler's 1979 version are my favorites.
The original book was set in Olde London, and featured an older, money-hungry money-lender
who repeatedly ignored needy people, including fatherless children.
Scrooge's conversion is heartwarming. He thought his life was about investing money -
George C. Scott's 1984 version and Henry Winkler's 1979 version are my favorites.
The original book was set in Olde London, and featured an older, money-hungry money-lender
who repeatedly ignored needy people, including fatherless children.
Scrooge's conversion is heartwarming. He thought his life was about investing money -
but the three spirits taught him - he should be investing in people.
Successful people invest themselves in what they care about.
When we go to work, we are investing.
When we make sure the car has enough gas for tomorrow - we are investing.
Money is only one form of investing.
Reading is another form of investing. Like you are doing now.
When we go to work, we are investing.
When we make sure the car has enough gas for tomorrow - we are investing.
When we buy quality clothes, then wear them out - we are investing.
When we swap kids' clothes with others of different sizes - we are investing.
When we keep track of what we own and don't lose things - we are investing.
When we are careful how we drive and what we ingest - we are investing.
If you read any of the books I suggest - you are investing.
Investing is about tomorrow, whether tomorrow is actually tomorrow, or years later.
While Jesus said to look after today,
those people that really look after today,
will be in good shape to manage tomorrow too.
Investing is about tomorrow, whether tomorrow is actually tomorrow, or years later.
While Jesus said to look after today,
those people that really look after today,
will be in good shape to manage tomorrow too.