Authority v. Responsibility(3 sections)
AUTHORITY V. RESPONSIBILITY
The teeter totter...
is a good example of two people balancing authority and responsibility.
The 'fulcrum' is the hinge of the teeter-totter.
more below...
One of the great balances in life is the balance between authority and responsibility.
The amount of responsibility we take for ourselves should roughly equal the amount of authority we have.
The amount of authority we have over our personal lives should roughly equal the amount of responsibility we are able and willing to carry.
Accordingly:
The amount of authority we have over other people should roughly equal the amount of responsibility we have for their well-being.
The amount of responsibility we should take for other people should roughly equal the amount of authority they surrender to us.
Out of balance?
If we have responsibility without authority, we tend to be like plantation slaves.
If we want more authority than responsibility, we tend to act like plantation owners.
There are variations to this equation:
1) Employment. When we trade our time for a paycheck, the fulcrum shifts, and the boss has the right to create expectations for us.
If we disagree, the employment will likely end. We surrender authority - in exchange for the paycheck we take home.
This brings up a great truth: "Every successful organization has a chain-of-command."
The superior in your chain-of-command may have the right to adjust the fulcrum-point between authority and responsibility.
2) Military Service. "Take that hill at any price." likely means that many will die.
3) God calls us to be kind to strangers, widows and to the fatherless; those who we have no control over.
Kindness often means giving something to them, without gaining any authority over them.
And there are abuses to this balance:
1) Teens who are still legally children, who date and become sexually active - that can't afford to raise a baby.
They are demanding a level of authority far higher than the responsibility they are able to carry.
My children did not have my permission to date until they were legal adults.
2) Many young adults live at home and do not pull their fair share of the load - yet claim to be 'independent adults'.
Once we are old enough to claim the right to make our own decisions,
we are old enough to pay towards our living expenses; housing, transportation and food costs.
So many young adults today still live at home, are on the family phone plan and car insurance,
yet consider themselves 'independent adults'. Nope.
When my children became adults, if they continued their education, they could eat and live at home for free.
But they were expected to work part-time for their other needs and wants - like auto expenses, phone, fast food, etc.
If they worked full-time without school, they could live at home, but were expected to helped pay for utilities and food.
They learned how to 'adult' while having a home-safety net.
Once we make babies, we have obligations to those children - until they are adults,
when they can claim and their independence, and shoulder their rightful responsibilities.
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The greatest part of responsibility v. authority
is what God allows and what God demands of us.
We need to understand this:
We live on a planet where everyone dies and has to answer to God for our choices and decisions - how we used our free will.
This is true in spite of His great love for us.
Victimhood does not excuse us from our own selfish choices.
We each still have to do the best we can with what we have.
Consider the early Old Testament, where God freed the Israelites from 400+ years of slavery in Egypt.
After He delivered them, what did He do?
He gave them a bunch of rules to follow, called 'The Levitical Law'. (The Book of Leviticus)
Yes, newly freed slaves had to become obedient to God's will - or be punished.
Many disobeyed and many were punished, under orders from God,
some were punished with immediate death directly by the hand of God. Is that fair?
Yes, it is. Please read Psalm 24
1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.
2 for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.
We are all God's belongings,
and there is a difference between being owned by another human...
and being owned by God.
The first is slavery.
The second is the only way we could ever exist.
Outside of God's creation of the human race, there was never any other option for our existence.
Blended Families
A marriage with stepchildren is more fragile.
This is where the authority/responsibility equation gets raw.
The parent that expects the new spouse to take some responsibility for a brought-in child,
needs to relinquish an equal amount of authority over that child.
And yet, there is often the other bioparent in the picture.
Too often, the custodial parent decides to retain complete authority over the kids,
but wants to pass-off responsibility to the new spouse.
No further advice here - but get it right...soon.
